Listening to music that puts you in a bad mood.

I hate when I'm in moods like this, but heck, here it goes. Today was supposed to be our lazy day but since our power went out and we're trying to save as much oil as possible- we decided to venture out. It was pretty boring and ordinary but it's always nice to get out of the house.

I no longer ever want to eat fast food again. No seriously. Do you know how much fat is in fast food? Ugh. Disgusting. It makes me want to vomit just thinking about it! I also swear that once all the junk is gone in my house- it's for sure GONE.

I also found some teething tablets for Camden. They go over better than the tylenol haha. I have to fight her to get the tylenol even in her mouth! Poor child... Well, she made some pretty hilarious faces when I made her take the tablets and attempted to spit it out. She definitely has a lot of personality. She's also turning into a little attention whore. No seriously, she has some issues with attention.

Ugh, I don't feel like writing anymore. My mood has gone to shit. Night.

Awkward dreams create awkward moments.

You know those really really really awkward dreams that you have where when you wake up in the morning you can't bare to even look at the person or talk to the person that you just dreamed about? Thank God that most of the people I have been dreaming about lately all live on the East Coast- very very far away from me. And the only times that I ever talk to them is if, by chance, they are online at the same time as I or facebook (oooh thank you great computer person who created facebook....).

Well I am searching for a pair of nice gold shoes to go with my pretty dress for the ball that's coming up here soon. I think I found a pair. Only problem is that they are $90 and like 6 inches high and I might just break my neck wearing them. But what the heck, they're gorgeous shoes and you only live once right?! Plus they are crazy enough to go with my crazy dress (it's aqua, brown, and gold leopard print- verrrrrrrry sexy). Anyway, I found them and I am totally in love with them. My only problem is that they are online and I have no way of trying them on- booooo internet! Speaking of dresses and balls.... I seriously need to start working out if I want to look super sexy in my ultra sexy dress (and shoes- which I AM going to buy). I would hate to have flappy arms and ass for something this important. Because "every girl deserves to go to a ball."


So my last post was about Camden cutting teeth. Well I have an amazing picture to share of that tooth that is coming in. By the way, she's got another one coming in as well and has been super cranky, slobbery, and sleepy. It's very annoying at around 4am. But she's interacting more and more and she's a total attention seaker. Everytime someone smiles at her and talks to her she gives them the biggest cheesiest baby grin ever. Very adorable. Which then, of course, produces all the "awwwws" and giggles. My child is going to be a heartbreaker when she grows up, God help me.


We're moving at the end of next month! I'm torn between being excited and not because this means less space than we have now. But it also means I'll have a bigger kitchen and Camden will be seperate from us! Hopefully this means more sleep for everyone. Less space meaning no guest bedroom- boooooo. Also we won't have our own fenced in yard. But this means we'll HAVE to take Roxy for walks (poor dog...). We will still only have one bathroom though (shoot me now).

BUT! Moving on base means no more bills! Like water, electric, heating oil (NEVER buy a house with heating oil, it's fucking expensive!), trash, sewage, ummm is there anymore that I'm forgetting? Oh yeah, RENT. Our rent is ridiculous. It ranges anywhere from $1100-$1400 depending on the exchange rate. Our rent is 915-ish euro. But we get a decent sized house AND the army pays for it. Now we won't have to worry about it for the next 2 years atleast. Plus I can paint :D. I'm thrilled about painting my house. And decorating. Oh yeah and I won't have to clean so much because there'll be less room :D.

Speaking of moving though... We're currently in the process of trying to sell one of the loveseats and the subaru. Dennis decided that it was a great idea to buy a car right before Christmas leaving us in a bind for having a wonderful Christmas this year. We pulled through needless to say but it was also around the time of our anniversary and Dennis' birthday. The loveseat was bought when we first moved here and is great. I love it buuuut we're not going to have very much room and I would much rather have a rocker for the nursery instead of a fucking couch. Gay gay gay. The car is $400 and the couch is $300. That's what we're hoping to sell it for atleast. Since I posted the items, I have had about 10-12 offers on the car and 1 for the couch! Yaaay, lets hope they are gone soon!

In other news...... Hmm... There really isn't much else going on!

Teeth

As of yesterday Camden is 3 months old! I can't believe it! Time has flown by. Lately Camden has been chewing on everything, bringing everything to her mouth- whether it's her clothes, my clothes, burp clothes, or blankets- and she's been drooling everywhere. It's gross, she soaks through an outfit in 15 minutes or less if she doesn't have a bib on. Well today she was extremely fussy and nothing was working. I tried nursing, burping, standing her up, sitting her down, laying her down, binky, swing, EVERYTHING. Well, I thought to myself to just check her poor little gums because maybe, just maybe, she'll be teething. Well, guess what?! Camden has a pearly white poking out!!! I'm thrilled :D. Yes I know that the next couple months are probably going to be hard and she's going to be cranky and I am going to have to worry about her biting me (I keep saying the moment she bites me I'll be done nursing.) and all that great stuff- but I'm so excited!!

Well, finally I gave her some baby tylenol because she was just so upset and she seemed to be in a lot of pain and I could tell she was tired. It took her a few minutes to actually take it because she hates it (and I don't blame her- the stuff is disgusting!) but within 5 minutes it worked. She was out could in 10 ;).

My poor baby is growing up so fast :)

I am frustrated.

I'm going to vent for a minute... So excuse me.

Sometimes I really, really do not understand why people would give their kids stupid names. Original or not, there are some names that just shouldn't be. I can think of a few but considering I share this blog on facebook to my friends, I won't mention some of the worst ones I've heard... But I seriously feel bad for those kids growing up. But hell, someone might think the same thing about my child...

The next thing that has been on my mind today. I hate those people that try to get others to do stuff for them without offering anything in return. Like the ones that know someone won't say no to them and asks favors... Like babysitting, driving them somewhere, etc etc. I know we all know someone that won't say no but... You're not supposed to take advantage of them! That drives me crazy. Also, the people that try to bring business to either themselves or to others like friends or family. You can only be so pushy...

I also dislike the kind of people that complain about ev.er.y.th.in.g yes, I'm putting extra emphasis on that word. You know the kind of people that make everything sound so much worse than it actually is? Like being pregnant. I understand that your back hurts, your stomach hurts, your ribs hurt, your (this might be tmi for some) va-jay-jay (that was for those guys out there hahaha) hurts, your whole body hurts, and you're also always tired. I get it. I was there. But I don't think you should complain about it ALL THE TIME. It's not as bad as some people make it out to be. But then again I didn't get as big as some. But the girl I'm talking about in particular is getting on my nerves :/ hopefully that child comes soon or I might just disconnect myself from her all together. I might do that anyway though.

I was thinking about things that really really bother me. There are some words, names, things, places, etc. that just bring on the anxiety for me. I have started to consider medicine again to help out on that anxiety. I hate to say it but I know a few things that always used to help with anxiety in the past... But I'm a mom now. There are certain words that might be said or names that bother me or places or songs or movies. They make me feel so anxious... I don't know, I've had this issue for a while now. I don't think Camden is helping either.

I pumped a bottle so I plan on heading to the gym tonight.

I was actually able to go see a movie today! First time since before Camden was born. I went to go see Valentine's Day with a friend of mine and Camden napped all the way until the end :). The movie was pretty cheesy but what do you expect from a movie with that kind of name? It was also sort of depressing. It was one of those movies were all the characters are connected in some way.

I think I want to try out for Survivor...... :)

A Thursday morning

Today Camden got her 2 month well baby shots! Poor thing wailed. I felt sooo bad for her. I admit that I was "that mom" that you see walking out of the room all teary eyed trying to calm her baby. (Dennis had tears in his eyes too, but he was also laughing... His reasoning? He said she was over dramatic- uuuuh you try being that old and getting 3 big needles stuck in her little chubby thighs!!!). Anyway, she was grumpy and fussy and I fed her and then she was perfectly fine. She even started talking to me in the waiting room. Mostly about her doctors visit and how much that mean lady made her cry. My poor baby.

Oh, Camden turns 3 months old tomorrow! Yes, we are in fact behind on her shots. But only because we had to go stateside 3 days before her appointment and had to cancell! And the earliest we could get in was today. I did make her 4 month well baby appointment today though :). It's the 22nd and I'm not looking forward to it.

She is now 13lbs and 24in long! My baby is 2 feet!! Haha :). I can't believe she has almost doubled in weight and is now 5in longer than when she was born! She amazes me every day. In fact, yesterday she started to chuckle. Cutest thing I think I have ever seen. She is more aware of her surroundings, she watches me intently when I'm around, she has started noticing her toys more and more, and get this? We have full on conversations several times a day. Conversations about her dreams, how her day is going, what she wants to do, how much she loves me and daddy and Roxy. She also loves to smile and giggle and pull things to her face. Could life get any more amazing than this? No, I don't think it could :)

A few weeks ago Dennis and I were having a conversation about a second child. This is not a subject I like because I do NOT want a second child. My reasoning? Well, I don't want to rob Cam of any attention. I want to be there for her every step of the way without having number 2 hanging on. I know this sounds selfish, but come on? I just couldn't imagine loving a second child as much as I love Camden (although I was caught off guard at how much my heart swelled for her.). I'm also thinking of Roxy. The poor thing is as jealous as it gets!

Dennis desperately wants a boy. Some days I wish Camden was a boy- ok not really (I got my wish! I got my wish!). But only so that he'll shut up about a boy!

Oh and yes we are moving. We were bumped to the top of the list for housing (yaaay!!!) and will be moving in like 2 months... ish... I never really wanted to live on base because the whole off base experience is great. Plus this means no guest bedroom, half the living space we have now, no personal yard (poor Roxy!), no garage... This also means we'll have neighbors. Next to us, under us, above us, alllllll around. I'm not thrilled. But hell, being around Americans sounds better than being around -cough- the people that have been putting Nazi signs on our cars. While I will admit, it probably was just the "kinder" it also makes me feel very very uncomfortable while Dennis is away and my front door is GLASS. Yeaaaah, fuck that.

Oh and about that dream... No I was not thinking about an old mans balls or pubes. I reread what I wrote and I know I said that I dream about things that I think about prior to going to bed. I was thinking about my brother, sister, my old friend, and getting my hair cut. Oh and a party that my dad is throwing sometime soon. The girlfriend's kids came in when I was skyping with dad and saw them. Also my parents being together is a normal thing to think about since I've only been around them for 2 or 3 weeks as "seperated." All very normal things. The skinny black girl? I was thinking about Haiti................ Yeah......... Ok! Anyway!

Well since I had a very early wake up call for that appointment this morning, I'm going to follow Camden's lead on this whole nap thing :)

I had the craziest dream last night...

So I woke up at around 4:30 this morning to Camden crying because she was hungry. I knew it was going to be a bad night because she wasn't in bed at her normal time- 9. I did, however, enjoy skyping with my dad and my brother. I love you guys :)

Anyway, about this dream... I can't really remember a whole lot of it now because, well, it's 10am and this happened at 4:30. I swear I have dreams about things that I think about or things that I do right before I go to bed.

I dreamed that I was going to a party at the beach and I was picking out a swim suit. It was yellow and sparkly. Only problem? It was February! I was picking it out with my sister and someone else. A friend that I have known since I was a little kid. She was the same way I remember her. My sister was not really my sister though. She was this skinny little black girl. I don't know how else to put it... And she was a PSYCHO. I mean, this girl was out to kill me. Every time I turned around she was trying to kick my ass. Literally.

My parents where back together- odd. But my dad was taking care of his current girlfriend's little girls. We were all going to the same party and it was pretty strange... My parents made everything with bbq sauce and chocolate pudding... Together. And when Hannah asked if they were going to seperate it mom told her to shut up.

My sister kept trying to kill me so I had to lock myself in the bathroom. I remember my dad knocking on the door. And he was trying to get Hannah away from me.

I also had to go with my brother, sister, and the same friend to a place to get a haircut. It was a German place and there was a naked dude sitting in the chair. As a joke my brother went and sat on the dudes lap who then proceeded to think my brother crazy. (sorry Aaron!). An old German lady was cutting his pubes...

What the hell?! Anyway, Dennis is home and doesn't have to go to work until later :)

Scatterbrained.

I've been sitting here trying to think of where to start on this new blog. I don't really want to make a bunch of blogs even though everything that's been on my mind has nothing to do with each other...

First off: Camden has been sleeping in her crib since pretty much we got back. Last night she slept almost 8 hours! She went to bed at 9 and then slept almost until Dennis' alarm went off :D. I was thrilled. But she also really didn't take a nap at all. I think she was too interested in what we were doing the whole day (because we had a lazy day and stayed home).



I also want to say Happy -late- Valentine's Day! I wanted to mention my wonderful husband and what he does for me. He really does a lot for me and I feel like I don't tell him enough how much I appreciate it. I mean, this man cooks and takes care of us and I'm able to be a stay at home mom because of him. For Valentine's Day I got all the normal VDay gifts- flowers, chocolates, candles, and a card... But he also made me dinner and surprised me with my favorite wine :). He's awesome and I love him.

Next topic... I'm kind of sad about the weight gain. Dennis keeps telling me if I don't like it to go to the gym. But it's not that easy... I have Camden now. And as much as I love her to death and would do anything for her... I can't help but wonder how much easier things would be with out her... I know, I know, I'm horrible for thinking such things. But I can't help it sometimes. Bottom line- I need to find time to workout so that I can (hopefully) get the body that I had before Cam back. It's going to take some time...

Also, almost 2 weeks ago there was a terrible blackhawk crash here. I don't know how many of you heard about it so I thought I would mention it... It was part of our battalion and 3 guys died. We still don't know the reason why they crashed and we might not ever know. It was a very horrible tragedy... Here's a link to the story: http://www.military.com/news/article/three-die-in-black-hawk-crash-in-germany.html

This story has been weighing on me for a while now. I think about these guys often. Just the way I think about all of our guys that are in Iraq or Afghanistan. I come from a military family and my dad has been over twice and my brother is over there currently. I also have a lot of friends that have been or are over there. Just so you know, I think of you guys often. I pray for your safety and well being and wish you guys to come home soon. This story hits close to home though... I'll be praying for the families of these men, I wish for anyone reading this blog to do the same.

I was reading a blog yesterday that I've been following for a couple months now. She was writing about Haiti. This is what she had said about natural disasters:

• "Disasters can initiate self examination.

  Disasters can bring out the best in people.

  Disasters can lead to spiritual transformation.

  A world without personal tragedy or natural disasters would
  produce no heroes."

I especially liked the last one. I hope you guys take something away from this the way that I havve.

The man is home early and dinner isn't even started! Oops!

Eff you, snow, eff you.

I'm from North Carolina therefore I don't know how to drive in the snow!! It started snowing AGAIN last night. The snow from the last time had started to melt and had pretty much turned to big blocks of ice in different places. Now on top of that ice is a nice layer of new snow. What does this mean? It means I can't drive in it! I had an appointment today and had to be there an hour early (thank goodness for birth control!). Well I left at around 9:45 and the 10 minute drive IN TRAFFIC took me a whopping 45 minutes. It was insane. Even the autobahn wasn't cleared. Autobahn+snow= scary. It took me 20 minutes to get up the mountain to my house. There was a van that was going sideways and so the other cars were slowing down and passing it. Well, when I had to slow down and start going again, I started turning sideways. I almost got stuck. I not only had Camden with me but I didn't have a cell phone and NO way to dig myself out (God forbid I get stuck...). The 30 seconds it normally takes me to get from the light to where you turn to go to Burg Nanstein took me about 20 minutes to get up at 20k. 20k=10mph. I just kept saying "Please God, let me get to my house in one piece with my daughter AND my car! I will NEVER drive when the weather is like this again I swear! Especially not without a 4wd car! PLEASE!"

The good news? I'm not pregnant (yay) and I'm officially on birth control (yay)! Camden was a golden child, as usual.

Camden has officially started sleeping in her own crib. We've also established when nap time is during the day. She usually has a nap at around 10 or 11 and then again around 4 or 5. Last night though, she was hungry a little earlier and she started falling asleep around 7. So I had to keep her awake until I gave her a bath. After her bath she pretty much fell asleep on the couch next to me while we waited for daddy to get home. She woke up, ate, and was out around 9. She slept for 5 hours. We're getting there. I'm hoping by this time next week that she'll be sleeping 7 hours again. Hopefully longer (but I'm not holding my breath).

We're currently looking for a new house here in Germany though. In the past few months we've had firecrackers thrown at our windows (past 10pm), kids coming into our FENCED IN BACK YARD, snowballs thrown at our windows (past 10pm with a newborn), kids having sex behind our house in the ally (which was pretty hilarious because Roxy scared the crap out of them. Even when the sun goes down here, you can still see pretty well- in the summer that is...), Nazi signs on our cars! (the landlord said it was just "kinder" umm hello, no it was not! Authorities just recently arrested 2 head gang leaders that were trying to get guns to kill as many Americans as possible. This is so not cool.). And I know there's more but I couldn't even think of the rest. But those are pretty good reasons to move I think. Especially the last one. Oh and people have also stolen our bio cans- seriously, what the fuck? Well, I had an appointment last night and today but I was unable to go to either one because the one last night was at 7 and it was dark and it had started to snow and I have no GPS. Fml. The one today I had to cancel because of the snow. Well when I called to cancel the guy says "That house has been rented out. Someone came to look at it last night." FML! Plus the waiting list to get on base housing is a 12-14 month wait :(. Could this get any worse???

Well, I need to find something better to do with my time than stay on the internet! Plus I need to check on Camden...

Camden is in her own room- success.

She slept in her own crib, she slept in her own crib!!! For almost 6 hours straight!!! :D I'm super excited about this! We just started trying it last night and wa-la it worked! I thought it would be much harder than it was. But we still have a lot more to accomplish. Like getting back to those 7 hour stretches. At the moment we're trying to get her to fall asleep before midnight. I think this is going to be a rough 2 weeks...

Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better

In the past two weeks I have traveled with an infant, met some of my in-laws, took a trip down memory lane, fought with my 2 month old on her schedule, gave up and let her sleep in bed with me anyway, started working out, quit working out, felt miserable about my body so started working out AGAIN, woke up because of my crazy dreams, fought and lost my battle with insomnia (because of those dreams), and conquered a snow storm. Whew.

Traveling with an infant isn't as bad as I thought it would be. And I was absolutely TERRIFIED of it. Mainly because we had a 12 hour flight back home to deal with. But Camden was amazing :). She was asleep at take off, and only woke up to be fed. The noise and pressure didn't seem to bother her in the least. The only time she freaked out was when we were landing and that was mainly because she was hungry- they always seem to pick the wrong times to be hungry huh?

While the reasons why we went home (death in the family...) are horrible, we're happy that we were able to all go back and show little Camden off to both of our families. While my parents and siblings have yet to meet Cam, they will this summer. She was able to meet some great grandparents, great aunts and uncles, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc. She was even able to meet a GREAT GREAT grandpa!

This next paragraph may seem a little shallow. Sorry in advance. We were very happy to actually get some shopping done and have a few days to our selves- as in, no baby. I was able to get a beautiful gown for the ball coming up in the spring, a new coat, some other random pieces of clothing. The likewise could be said for my dear husband. We were also able to spend time with hubby's brother and his girlfriend. We went to the City Museum one night- what a blast.

We spent a little over a week there and finally went home. Then D took the rest of the week off to get back on schedule. We were there long enough to get on their time zone, only to have to turn right back around and redo it. 7 hours difference is A LOT.

When we landed in Germany, there was about 1.5-2 feet of snow. And it only got worse. Did I mention that we were ALL sick and had to take Camden to the doctor? Yeah, we were snowed in and it sucked. All it was was bronchitis and sinuses. Camden was super stuffed up and so we were prescribed some nasal drops and to buy a cool humidifier (those things are magical- how did I ever survive flu season before this!?).

I've decided that I'm not only going to watch my weight but also my inches. Inches around my hips, arms, legs, etc...

I have also decided upon a tattoo idea for Camden and where it's going to go. I'm excited about getting this idea on paper (I've already drawn some of it.) and getting it done. I won't share it until I've started. I'm excited :)