Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I need to find God or something.

I'm having a hard time right now trying to breathe throw what's going to happen in the next year. I know I shouldn't worry about it and just to take it one day at a time but it's reaaaaaallllllly hard looking at it that way. I just want to scream and throw a fit but I know that's not going to help me with anything.

I'm frustrated with my family. My family back home in the states that is. Mostly because I believe everyone deserves happiness and if that means that people need to seperate to find that happiness- please, by all means, DO IT. But at the same time, I'm having a hard time accepting some of the things that are happening. As most of you know, my parents are divorced. A recent divorce. Which means everyone around them somehow, somewhere, has hurt feelings about this. Mostly it's close relatives or my siblings.

Up until recently I have been utterly ecstatic for my parents. In my opinion, this probably should have happened 10 years ago. It's not my story to tell so I won't go into details. Well, like I was saying, none of this bothered me until recently. And it probably bothers me so much now because I'm already stressed out with things going on here that all I needed to send me over the edge was family drama back home. And it's not even drama! I wanted my parents to find happiness. And my dad has. My mom is still struggling with finding who she is. Considering she has been a stay at home mom for almost 22 years now. But it's hard seeing one parent happy and the other not so happy. I don't know how else to explain it...

Ugh, I'm too pissed off right now to even say anything else.

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