A few things to think about.

My hands are numb. Along with my legs. Again. But I've been thinking about a few things and I wish to write about them.

1) Money will destroy everything. Dennis and I have had plenty of fights about money, who's right and who's wrong, how to spend it, how to save it, what needs to be paid asap and what doesn't need to be paid asap. I think that I am very good with money, thanks to my parents. Dennis on the other hand is like a 13 year old that just got his first $20- burns a hole in his pocket every time. I have come up with a plan to get us (really him...) out of debt by October. YES, by OCTOBER. First comes the tax return- we were waiting for Cam's social security card. This will pay of 3 rather large bills- motorcycle, jewelry, and a credit card (not large but still, what's left should go strictly to bills!). Then after that, $500 will be free to spend on bills because I refuse to use that money for anything else. Hell, it's not like we're spending it now, so if there's something that needs to be paid, why not just pay it!? Next we will pay another medium sized bill off completely in 2 months and start on another one. This will go on until October when we should have everything except for our furniture credit card (yes I said FURNITURE CREDIT CARD) and a bill that should have been taken care of while we were still living in the states. Umm did I mention how bad Dennis is with money? It has taken me almost 2 years to get him to actually go along with what I say and to buckle down. I think it was the threats that this could possibly be the end of our marriage though...

2) Divorce is becoming more and more common these days. This is depressing. It makes you stop to wonder if love can actually last. Looking at a few relationships that I either grew up around or I'm around constantly... 1a. my parents. 1b. a close friend who's marriage seems amazing, anyone would want to be like them. 1c. a friend who's marriage seems to be shattering as we speak. Also, my grandparents who split on my mom's side and my grandparents that were never married on my dad's side... Relationships are shitty. Or they can be. It has taken me a while to realize that my relationship with Dennis is NOTHING like my parents' or my grandparents' or my friends'. Obviously my parents have had a huge effect on me and my life and the way that I perceive things... But sitting back and saying "hey I'm not my mom or my dad and my relationship with my husband doesn't have to be the same." Divorce is terribly depressing... I've been wondering if maybe it's because of how sexual our world is today.

Now, I'm not saying that people "back in the day" didn't cheat on their spouse. But, what I am saying is I think that ou sexual world has put a different perspective on relationships.

Hmmm, any thoughts? I'm kind of scatter brained at the moment plus I'm still trying to gain control of my anxiety...

I made a wonderful dinner today. I'm trying to get out from under all the processed foods and start making more things from scratch. I'm also trying to set rules for the house. Which is another thing my husband and I argue about... But, I made salmon (a little butter and lemon pepper is all you need! I know, butter is fatty but I'm still trying!!), mashed potatoes (no... not from scratch, but I swear it's the last box in the cabinet! I'm trying to get rid of all the processed/boxed foods in my house! One step at a time...), and a nice salad :). It was pretty yummy. I'm wondering what I should make tomorrow... I don't know if anyone else watches Dr. Oz or not buuuut, he says that "you should only eat meat that walks on 4 feet 3 times a week." or something like that. So seafood it is!

Can you tell I'm trying to do this whole healthy thing? Plus I've been walking more. What with living in an apartment with a dog, you kinda have to! And I have friends that live on base who also have kids and no car- perfect! AND the weather is great! (or atleast it was today... and yesterday...)

Oh yeah, we're back to one car again. How shitty is that!? It seems that we can never catch a break. Plus the car that we are driving is a piece of shit as well. Two days ago I noticed a gas smell. Yes, the damn thing smells like gas! And then today while driving it something started dripping on my foot- ummm can you say anti-freeze!?! I'm waiting for the day that it just takes a crap all together. That will probably be the day that I have somewhere to be that's very important... But hell, it's a classic! 86 mercedes, could life get any better?... don't answer that...

Sometimes I just need to hear that I'm doing a great job.

I guess I should update... Dennis is finally home and feeling better. I personally think it's all the pain medicine he is on but hey, atleast he's feeling better! We have someone come over twice a day to unpack and repack his hole in his leg- thank goodness because I probably would throw up if I tried. No seriously, I do not deal well with holes in your body that ARE NOT supposed to be there. But he's getting better, the hole looks smaller and "healthier."

Camden has started doing some funny things lately that I would like to share. First off, she has started grabbing her feet- this is hilarious especially at diaper changes. She watches me intently whenever I talk and eat and tries to mock me. Today I even tried to give her a piece of my cracker (no, not to eat, just to taste... God, what kind of mom do you think I am!?) and she tasted it and smiled and proceeded to giggle at me. We dance and sing and talk often lately. She also will not stay on her tummy as if he life depends on it. Still working on back to belly though (although I'm scared shitless of when that happens because then I will never be able to leave her alone). We tried giving her cereal the other day and she wasn't having it. She screamed at me about one fricken ounce! I need to learn to control my temper... Especially around her.

Oh and she's not only blowing spit bubbles but also raspberries- this cracks me up. Oh and she stands up and all you have to do is hold her hands to balance! Can't wait until she is taking steps :). And she sits up on her own, all you have to do is sit her there and she is good to go. For a few minutes atleast, and then she kinda topples over.

Roxy is starting to get more and more annoying as the days go on. The poor dog is starved for attention. And while I'm ashamed to admit this, it was discussed- we were talking about finding a very nice loving home for her to go to. But we're both too selfish to do this and want to keep her because we love her and she's our first baby. And plus Dennis said "If we can't get rid of Camden then we can't get rid of Roxy." So there you have it, Roxy is staying.

We are moving soon and I'm thrilled. I hate this stupid house with it's stupid oil! The oil ran out and considering it's so expensive to buy, we're putting off buying it until the 15th. No oil means no heat and no hot water. I will never, ever take advantage of a hot shower again! For now it has been sponge baths (or my mom likes to say "whore baths"). I hate it. But mainly because it's freezing when you get out and your scalp burns from rinsing with cold water because you can't pour the pot of water on your head and get all the soap out! By the way, the house is colder than the fridge if that gives you any idea!

I am now wearing my old jeans. Yes I said it, I can now officially bust out my pre-prego jeans! Wooooo! I still need to loose some weight, but hell, this is amazing :).

Oh and I got one of those formspring.me accounts- check me out at caityhasaheart. Can't get away from that name :).