My hands are numb. Along with my legs. Again. But I've been thinking about a few things and I wish to write about them.
1) Money will destroy everything. Dennis and I have had plenty of fights about money, who's right and who's wrong, how to spend it, how to save it, what needs to be paid asap and what doesn't need to be paid asap. I think that I am very good with money, thanks to my parents. Dennis on the other hand is like a 13 year old that just got his first $20- burns a hole in his pocket every time. I have come up with a plan to get us (really him...) out of debt by October. YES, by OCTOBER. First comes the tax return- we were waiting for Cam's social security card. This will pay of 3 rather large bills- motorcycle, jewelry, and a credit card (not large but still, what's left should go strictly to bills!). Then after that, $500 will be free to spend on bills because I refuse to use that money for anything else. Hell, it's not like we're spending it now, so if there's something that needs to be paid, why not just pay it!? Next we will pay another medium sized bill off completely in 2 months and start on another one. This will go on until October when we should have everything except for our furniture credit card (yes I said FURNITURE CREDIT CARD) and a bill that should have been taken care of while we were still living in the states. Umm did I mention how bad Dennis is with money? It has taken me almost 2 years to get him to actually go along with what I say and to buckle down. I think it was the threats that this could possibly be the end of our marriage though...
2) Divorce is becoming more and more common these days. This is depressing. It makes you stop to wonder if love can actually last. Looking at a few relationships that I either grew up around or I'm around constantly... 1a. my parents. 1b. a close friend who's marriage seems amazing, anyone would want to be like them. 1c. a friend who's marriage seems to be shattering as we speak. Also, my grandparents who split on my mom's side and my grandparents that were never married on my dad's side... Relationships are shitty. Or they can be. It has taken me a while to realize that my relationship with Dennis is NOTHING like my parents' or my grandparents' or my friends'. Obviously my parents have had a huge effect on me and my life and the way that I perceive things... But sitting back and saying "hey I'm not my mom or my dad and my relationship with my husband doesn't have to be the same." Divorce is terribly depressing... I've been wondering if maybe it's because of how sexual our world is today.
Now, I'm not saying that people "back in the day" didn't cheat on their spouse. But, what I am saying is I think that ou sexual world has put a different perspective on relationships.
Hmmm, any thoughts? I'm kind of scatter brained at the moment plus I'm still trying to gain control of my anxiety...
I made a wonderful dinner today. I'm trying to get out from under all the processed foods and start making more things from scratch. I'm also trying to set rules for the house. Which is another thing my husband and I argue about... But, I made salmon (a little butter and lemon pepper is all you need! I know, butter is fatty but I'm still trying!!), mashed potatoes (no... not from scratch, but I swear it's the last box in the cabinet! I'm trying to get rid of all the processed/boxed foods in my house! One step at a time...), and a nice salad :). It was pretty yummy. I'm wondering what I should make tomorrow... I don't know if anyone else watches Dr. Oz or not buuuut, he says that "you should only eat meat that walks on 4 feet 3 times a week." or something like that. So seafood it is!
Can you tell I'm trying to do this whole healthy thing? Plus I've been walking more. What with living in an apartment with a dog, you kinda have to! And I have friends that live on base who also have kids and no car- perfect! AND the weather is great! (or atleast it was today... and yesterday...)
Oh yeah, we're back to one car again. How shitty is that!? It seems that we can never catch a break. Plus the car that we are driving is a piece of shit as well. Two days ago I noticed a gas smell. Yes, the damn thing smells like gas! And then today while driving it something started dripping on my foot- ummm can you say anti-freeze!?! I'm waiting for the day that it just takes a crap all together. That will probably be the day that I have somewhere to be that's very important... But hell, it's a classic! 86 mercedes, could life get any better?... don't answer that...
Silas and I have similar fights over money, so I really sympathize. Thankfully, Silas has really sobered up about money since I got pregnant, but I've had to learn to relax about it too and try not to control him too much.
ReplyDeleteOn the divorce note - I think it's depressing too. My parents are divorced, as you well know, and it scares me to see so many people I thought were doing great have their marriages falling apart. Silas's parents have been married over 24 years now, though, and that's encouraging to me.
Thank goodness Garrett and I agree on money. . .I was in a relationship for six years with a man I could send out to pay a bill with the money in his pocket, only to find out two weeks later he never paid the bill and the money is gone...WTF? Garrett and I try to stay ahead on everything so that if he lost his job, or some other unforseen problem arose we would have at least a slight cushion. Unfortunately we don't have much in the way of liquid assets, but at least we'll have a roof and food. Our vehicle solution is to have three that are on their last legs so that we at least have back ups, lol. (they all have about 200k miles and two are technically totaled vehicles)
ReplyDeleteAs for divorce...I think it is a lot more than the sexual nature of our society, although that certainly plays a part. We are simply a spoiled society, used to having things go OUR way. We are not accustomed to the compromise that a marriage takes to work. Sadly, we are a "me" society and marriage is a "we" commitment.