You're a dandelion seed that flies through the air.

Today is a much better day than the last time I posted. I'm in week 3 of P90X and I'll tell you what- I'm starting to notice a difference. In my legs, my stomach, my arms. But especially my stomach. As I've already said, I'm not trying to loose weight, just tone. I'm already under my pre-prego weight. I thank nursing for that.

Speaking of nursing- we're almost completely weened! While I aboslutely LOVE nursing and suggest for every mother to try it because it's just that amazing- I'm kinda ready to be done. I love Camden and I love nursing it's just that I think we would love each other much more if we weren't doing it anymore. It also becomes pretty awkward when your child tries to assume position and lift your shirt... I have a very strict rule on parenting- when your child assumes position it's time to stop. That goes for nursing and potty training.

We have surpassed the 1 month mark and we have survived! I must admit that it is nice to watch whatever I want whenever I want to. Not having to share the bathroom is always a plus. Oh and sharing the bed is completely OUT the window, I'm a firm beleiver of sleeping in the middle of the bed, I don't even share with Roxy. Or Camden. I can do whatever I like whenever I like to. And I can eat whatever I want. And if that means I want to eat a whole bag of reeses in 2 days, well damn it, I'll do it! I'm trying to not think about how lonely it is to go to bed without saying "I love you, goodnight" to the person that I love with all my heart. I guess that's why I put off going to bed...

I still haven't got the car fixed. And I haven't enrolled in college yet. I'm a slacker. Tomorrow I'm treating myself to a haircut. Then Tuesday I have to take Roxy to a friend's house to see if she'll work well with her kids so that I can go home. I have found someone to take Roxy for the whole month I'll be gone even if that means that I need 2 people to do it. Yesssss! I guess Wednesday I'll have to do everything else that I've been putting off...

Oh another thing- I don't have to do everything in one day. I can space out 5 tasks in 5 days. And I love it.

We're getting ready for Camden's big first birthday. We have less than 2 weeks to go. I can't tell you how excited and nervous I am! She is such a smart child. She calls me momma, sees pictures of Dennis and says dada. She says dog. And I swear the other day she said "Hi Laura" to my close friend. She's running and playing and interacting and it's great. Oh and we love to shop. I think she loves it because everyone pays attention to her.

And something that I find very special is lunch after nap time. Today we ate lunch together at the table. I ate my sandwich and cheetos and drank my coke (I know... soooo healthy... whatever!) and she sat next to me eating chicken sticks and bananas and drinking her juice. We kept giggling at each other. She would point at something and say "that" and I would tell her what "that" was. Trees, daddy, Roxy, mommy, table, sandwich, couch, etc. Lunch time is my favorite time. Besides just after bathtime when we chase each other around the house. Or when she brings me a book and we read "Goodnight Moon." Did I mention how much I love being a mom?

For those of you that do wonder- Dennis is doing fine. He says it's hot there. He works and sleeps and that's basically it. I don't get to talk to him much anymore because of his job and the nature of it. The more he has to work the more worried I become. Not exactly for HIM but for the other guys that are there. You see, you have to have someone to bring our boys home... He's one of those guys. And my heart absolutely swells when I hear stories. Or I see someone at the hospital that I've seen in their pictures over there. I just want to walk up to them and give them a big hug. Because I know the last person they saw over there was probably Dennis. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it... I know this might not make sense to many people... I guess I just need to get it out.

It's cold and nasty in Germany. Not much fun for any of us really. Poor Roxy is tired of being kept cooped up in the house. But I honestly don't know what else to do for her because it's too cold and wet to take her out back and throw the ball. I won't be surprised if it snows soon. Yuck.

I'll be going home for the holidays. Or that's what it looks like right now. I'm excited.

More to come at a later time...

Update on Camden

Well, Camden is officially trying to crawl! She's scooting around and it's the cutest thing ever. Whenever she sees Roxy she immediately goes for her. Or my feet. Or the tv stand. I try to put toys out across the rug but she's more intereted in the things I don't want her to have!

I was thinking about doing something special for her 6 month mark but I'm not sure what yet. I don't want to do a birthday because that's kind of ridiculous. Maybe I'll get her a cute outfit and get her picture taken or something. I was also telling Dennis that on MY birthday I want us to have matching outfits (Camden and I) he laughed and said ok. I know it's completely corny but heck, I think it would be really cute!! What are your thoughts? It would be the 4th of July so she would be 7 1/2 months old by then (HOLY CRAP!). I personally think it would be relatively easy to find something matching... I was kinda thinking maybe tutus... Maybe I'm just lame though!

Anyway, she's rolling around, grabbing everything, chatty, loves to be in her walker, tries hard to crawl, loves mommy, loves daddy, LOVES Roxy, oh and she loves sweet potatoes!!! She had her first food 2 nights ago. She almost ate the whole little container. I was so proud :).

I can't believe my baby is 5 months old!

Oh the joys of unpacking...

Since Dennis has gone back to work, things have changed. Camden FINALLY slept through the night last night since we moved here (a week ago- ughh). Roxy is FINALLY going potty outside (instead of on the back porch. Thus the reason why she is no longer aloud out on the porch...). And of course, mommy is FINALLY getting used to it being just the three of us. Yes, life is good.

Yesterday Camden wasn't going to take a nap. Period. Every time I laid her down in her crib she woke up after 10 minutes. I was so tired from the night before that I layed back down and had finally fell asleep when she woke up. Yesterday was a bad day.

Today, on the other hand, was amazing. She slept through the night and then took a nap from about 12:30-2. Yessss, life is good :).

We are still unpacking the house. Well, really, it's ME that's still unpacking the house. I think Dennis has unpacked a total of 2 boxes. Yes, I said TWO boxes. I have unpacked all of the bathroom, all of Camden's room, and all of the kitchen. He has helped with ONE box in the kitchen and ONE box in the living room. The rest of the time is spent on either Camden, Roxy, or his other beloved... the xbox. I refuse to get xbox live again. And I highly discourage getting xbox live for any husband (this is to the wives!) because you will then be replaced.

Well, Camden has made it clear that she is done playing on her gym and needs to be snuggled!

Sowing Season.

Woa, it's been awhile!

So we finally moved into our new place on Wednesday- I love it. Despite it being an apartment that is... I'll have to take pictures and post them up. I have a muuuch bigger kitchen and bathroom, which is awesome :) it actually gets me motivated to make dinner (especially since I don't pop circuits when I have more than 2 burners on- thrilling!)

More to come...

*edit*
So we're still unpacking everything and getting in place. The kitchen is pretty much done. Since our kitchen at the old house was sooo tiny we didn't have a lot of stuff for the kitchen. Now we have a lot of empty cabinets. I've been working on Camden's room and I almost have it set up the way I want, I have all the boxes unpacked except for one. Now I just need to put down the carpet and hang some pictures up and it'll be complete!

Our room hasn't even been touched except to get the bedding out. We don't have any bedroom furniture anyway so it's not like it really matters. I guess getting rid of all the FMO furniture will motivate us to buy some! Haha.

Since we no longer have an office, I guess we need to find something to do with all this junk :/. Throw it all away, I say!! I seriously don't want to go through the boxes that came from the office...

Other than moving, Dennis is finally healed up and will be going back to work next week. I guess this is a good thing because we've been getting on each others nerves lately from all the time we've spent together!

Oh and that tooth that we thought was coming in- yeah... Not a tooth. Haha but oh well! I guess it was just a milk tooth- I guess I should have done some research on it...

Speaking of Camden, she has been an awesome sleeper lately. She'll usually go to bed around 9 and wake up at around 7. It's amazing... She's also putting her feet in her mouth. And today we went to hang out with one of my friends from the centering group I was in. Her baby is 3 weeks older than Camden. They were sooo cute together! They were even holding hands :D!

Roxy is still very confused about this new house. She won't go to the bathroom. In fact, she pooped on the porch- what the fuck. We live on the 2nd floor. It's kind of a pain to walk Roxy with Camden. But this will be some motivation to get out of the house a couple times a day :). But the weather here SUCKED.

Yup... That's about it!

May angels lead you in.

So I've been meaning to blog for the past few days now but I can't find time to just sit down and do it. Camden is going through a phase where she's hungry all the time and if I don't feed her RIGHT THEN AND THERE then she's going to just die. I know, totally dramatic. And this happens pretty much every hour and a half. But we did finally get one of those super cool play gym mat things for her and she LOVES it!

Dennis is finally getting better. The wound is getting much smaller now and it looks healthy. Which is fantastic. He is moving around better but he still can't carry anything heavy- which is fine because we all know that I'm a beast :).

Hmmm... I feel extremely selfish right now because this post is supposed to be about one of my friends...

Well, as some of you or all of you might now, a friend of mine lost her baby a few days ago to SIDS. She's one of the ladies that I went through my pregnancy with- well kinda. There's a site- www.whattoexpect.com (which I advise everyone that is pregnant to use- and yes, even the dads can use this site!) and a forum that I frequented while I was pregnant, and still do, and that's where I met this wonderful lady. Michael was almost 5 months old when he passed and it's incredibly sad.

So for the past 2 nights I've been scared to death that something horrible would happen to Camden and I check on her often. I check on her atleast 6 times before I go to sleep. And yes, she's back to sleeping in our bedroom (well atleast until we get oil damn it). She slept with us one night because every time I tried putting her down she woke up and cried and I woke up having a nightmare thinking that she was dead in my arms. I think I about had a heartattack.

It shouldn't take a tragedy to realize what you have and how lucky you are. I will never take advantage of Camden or Dennis or Roxy or any of the rest of my family for that matter again. Or atleast I will try to not be so selfish. Especially with Camden since she's teething and she's fussy lately and all I want to do is cry because she's frustrating me! But I remind myself that I could not have her tomorrow and I snuggle her more, kiss her all the time, and play with her all day long.

Sometimes I just need to hear that I'm doing a great job.

I guess I should update... Dennis is finally home and feeling better. I personally think it's all the pain medicine he is on but hey, atleast he's feeling better! We have someone come over twice a day to unpack and repack his hole in his leg- thank goodness because I probably would throw up if I tried. No seriously, I do not deal well with holes in your body that ARE NOT supposed to be there. But he's getting better, the hole looks smaller and "healthier."

Camden has started doing some funny things lately that I would like to share. First off, she has started grabbing her feet- this is hilarious especially at diaper changes. She watches me intently whenever I talk and eat and tries to mock me. Today I even tried to give her a piece of my cracker (no, not to eat, just to taste... God, what kind of mom do you think I am!?) and she tasted it and smiled and proceeded to giggle at me. We dance and sing and talk often lately. She also will not stay on her tummy as if he life depends on it. Still working on back to belly though (although I'm scared shitless of when that happens because then I will never be able to leave her alone). We tried giving her cereal the other day and she wasn't having it. She screamed at me about one fricken ounce! I need to learn to control my temper... Especially around her.

Oh and she's not only blowing spit bubbles but also raspberries- this cracks me up. Oh and she stands up and all you have to do is hold her hands to balance! Can't wait until she is taking steps :). And she sits up on her own, all you have to do is sit her there and she is good to go. For a few minutes atleast, and then she kinda topples over.

Roxy is starting to get more and more annoying as the days go on. The poor dog is starved for attention. And while I'm ashamed to admit this, it was discussed- we were talking about finding a very nice loving home for her to go to. But we're both too selfish to do this and want to keep her because we love her and she's our first baby. And plus Dennis said "If we can't get rid of Camden then we can't get rid of Roxy." So there you have it, Roxy is staying.

We are moving soon and I'm thrilled. I hate this stupid house with it's stupid oil! The oil ran out and considering it's so expensive to buy, we're putting off buying it until the 15th. No oil means no heat and no hot water. I will never, ever take advantage of a hot shower again! For now it has been sponge baths (or my mom likes to say "whore baths"). I hate it. But mainly because it's freezing when you get out and your scalp burns from rinsing with cold water because you can't pour the pot of water on your head and get all the soap out! By the way, the house is colder than the fridge if that gives you any idea!

I am now wearing my old jeans. Yes I said it, I can now officially bust out my pre-prego jeans! Wooooo! I still need to loose some weight, but hell, this is amazing :).

Oh and I got one of those formspring.me accounts- check me out at caityhasaheart. Can't get away from that name :).